During any romantic relationship, whether it be long term or short term, one of the key and most important influencers is the energetic climate that emerges in the beginning and that develops over time. It is this magnetic and insatiable connection that often is completely beyond words, belief systems and personality dynamics but is a hallmark of a energetically compatible relationship. If you have been in love you will know what i’m talking about.

This energetic connection that i am referring to is beyond the individuals control and can emanate from multiple levels of our experience, including: physical emotional, biological, intellectual and spiritual. As a Tai Chi and QiGong Teacher i have studied and observed the intricacy of the Yin and Yang in great detail as it is the central philosophy of both martial arts. In this article i will examine the application of this ancient Taoist principle and the impacts it has on our relationships.

The Yin and Yang at it’s simplest level represents two halves that create wholeness. Within these halves we can see contrasting qualities such as masculine and feminine along with passive and active. It is a representation of the harmony of opposites and how there can be balance amidst seemingly contrasting forces.

In taking a closer look at the nature of romantic relationships, it is common to see one partner who is more Yin-dominant in their energy and the other who is more Yang. Whilst we can exhibit features of both, one will be more present and it may not correspond to that of your biological gender (Yin is feminine, Yang is masculine). Discovering which one is your dominant quality can have a profound effect on your understanding of yourself and the energetic patterns, cycles and dynamics of your love life.

Below is a framework i have devised to identify if your energy is more Yin or Yang. Tick the traits that you resonate with for each one and compare your results. Your dominant one will have more than 5 ticks.

Signs you are Yin dominant

  • Happy to fit in, go with the flow and be passive in decision making
  • You are gentle natured, often introverted and don’t like conflict
  • Comfort, physical touch, relaxation and affection are important needs to be fulfilled
  • Yin mindset is more intuitive, creative, emotive and holistic
  • Your energy embodies the element of water in your temperament
  • Self confidence, assertiveness and personal authority are attractive to you
  • You embody the roles of the carer, the listener, the healer and always look for solutions to problems
  • Regularly creating time for calm and peaceful activities is important to you
  • The moon archetype strongly resonates with you

Signs you are Yang dominant

  • You’ve been told you ‘wear the trousers’ in your relationship
  • Comfortable in making mutual decisions with ease, speed and confidence
  • You have heightened energy, vitality and are more restless than your partner
  • Mental stimulation, adventure, ambition and achievement are key needs to be met
  • Yang mindset is more logical, serious, linear, structured, organised and rational
  • Your energy embodies the element of fire in your temperament
  • Regularly doing active sports appeals more to you than your partner
  • You take on more responsibilities, house duties and are the ‘go-getter’ in the relationship
  • The sun archetype strongly resonates with you

The Yin and Yang interacts like magnetism. Two Yang dominant people will often experience power struggles in a relationship and repel each other in time. Two Yin-dominant people will experience the same energetic deficiency and the compatibility will inevitably fade. If you are male and Yin-dominant, it doesn’t make you any less of a man. Likewise for a yang-dominant female.

Instead, this principle can help couples find each others strengths & weaknesses, likes & dislikes and agreements and disagreements. In doing so it will reveal the interdependence of Yin and Yang and how it can fluctuate in different circumstances, dynamics and of course be variable in the relationship over time.

If you can apply the principle to your own personal development, you can help identify patterns in your own life to Yin and Yang and the people, situations, environments and roles that can trigger you to take on more of one or the other. As you grow and develop the proportions may change over time.

In studying Tai Chi and QiGong you learn how to bring balance to your Yin and Yang energy through embodied movement meditation and breathwork. In bringing more energetic balance to yourself, it can positively affect the health of your relationships in being more present and grounded. To find out more about these practices and how they can benefit you, enrol for a 6 week term and try it for yourself. Browse our events calendar here